Stop resisting and start living!

Life is a combination of wonderful and painful experiences. Sometimes we forget this especially when our life isn’t going according to plan, or we’re  face a crisis. When this happens our a tendency to react. Sometimes our reaction is visible, as when we get angry, vent, yell, cry or in some way vent our frustration. Other times our reactions are hidden, we go inwards and spin stories about how what is happening in our lives is personal and shouldn’t be happening.

What intensifies our pain and transforms it into suffering  is the way we resist what is happening. So if we are sad and dwell in a place of sadness we begin to perceive the world as a gloomy, hostile place. If we are angry we might act out, feeling like a victim and then life becomes even more difficult.

I think that resistance is a knee jerk reaction to pain after all we as humans move towards pleasure and avoid pain. This movement towards one end or the other creates an inbalance in the way we see life, in the things we pursue and the things we avoid. The biggest problem with this approach is that we lose touch with life, with our surroundings, with ourselves and others. Our tendency is to get swept up in thinking, judging, controlling or trying to find the quickest way to end the unpleasantness.  While we’re spinning in our stories life is happening all around us and we aren’t present to it. This can lead to a feeling of being alone, separate and then it becomes about me alone on one side and the world on the other.

What helps alleviate the suffering is when we meet resistance with compassion and acceptance. Feeling compassion towards self or others soothes the resistance. Acceptance helps us to reconnect with lfe, and helps us bring clarity of mind to what is happening. So instead of getting caught up in fighting against what is happening, instead of withdrawing we begin to look at how we can respond to what is happening.

I love the way that  Thich Nhat Hanh writes about this need to accept life as it is:

We have to be in touch with the present moment,
the wonderful life that is present in us and around us.

The birds sing.
The wind soughs in the leaves of the pine.
If we’re not in touch, our life is wasted.
When we are in touch we are nourished
we are transformed.
We grow, we mature.

Being in touch also means being in touch with the suffering
in our own body and our own person, the suffering in our environment,
in our family, and in our society.

Then we will know what we need to do and what we should not do in order to transform this suffering. On the one hand, we need to be in touch with what is wonderful, because that will nourish us. And on the other hand, we have to be in touch with our suffering so that we can understand, love, and transform.

May you be free from suffering
May you be joyful

Until next time…