In life there is joy, pain, sadness and a multitude of different experiences. As humans we are wired and drawn to see the negative more then the positive. It’s a survival mechanism that helps us stay alive but sometimes it is hypersensitive and over reacts. It’s as if we have a button that is triggered when we look out into the world and see or sense anything as a threat to our well-being. Sometimes when we’re triggered we end up getting hooked into a story, it can be pleasant or painful version but it’s still a story. If we’re not conscious that we’re caught up in a make believe world then we are living in our heads and not living in the present.
We disconnect from life; loved ones and ourselves. Staying caught up in stories or fantasies can create a false sense of pleasure or an increased feeling of pain. Either way we are using our energy to take us away from the things that can help us deal with what is happening and that can lead to a greater sense of peace and healing. When we are able to bring awareness to what is in need of attention with a loving, understanding and wakeful presence we area able to get to the other side of what has triggered us.
Some ways to help yourself when your hooked…
In order to be really present to what is happening we must bring awareness to our thoughts, reactions, behaviors. We need to label thoughts as thinking, stories as stories. Instead of getting hooked into the content or behavior we can look at what is going on in the mind with a clear ability to see where we’ve been triggered and where it’s taken us.
Some questions that helps are:
Is this way of thinking helping me or hurting me?
Is this going to help me to respond to what is happening in my life right now?
Can I let go of getting caught up in thinking, stories or fantasies and begin to connect with the feeling that is driving the behavior?
What am I feeling in my body? Can I reconnect with my body by breathing? Can I connect with my heart and a real wish for my own well-being by placing my hand on my heart and repeating words of loving kindness?
This pausing, acknowledging and choosing from a conscious and kind place will help you move forward to address what is happening with steps that help you reconnect with yourself, loved ones and life. Be compassionate as you move through this process of pausing, noticing, choosing which path to take and walking it with mindfulness and compassion.
Here are some phrases of loving kindness that may be helpful from Dr. Rod Birney M.D:
“May I remain in peace, and let go of expectations.”
“May I see my limits compassionately, just as I view the suffering of others.”
“May I accept my pain, without thinking it makes me bad or wrong.”
“May love for myself and others flow boundlessly.”
“May I accept anger, fear, and sadness, knowing that my heart is not limited by them.”
“May I be peaceful and happy, at ease in body and mind.”
“I forgive myself for mistakes or things left undone.”
“May I open to the unknown, as I leave behind the known, like a bird flying free.”